MOANing Trail

MOANing Leg 4--NYC

2008-11-11T13:06:00.004-05:00

Well, we've finally MOANed our way to NYC. While this was actually completed last week, I fell ill with dysentery and had to tend to an oxen with a bad hoof, so the update is a bit late, and I do apologize. I'm just happy I've recovered enough to rejoin the trail!

NYC has been a long awaited pit stop for this journey. Not only for the amazing history, sights, and sounds, but it the home to the incomparable red_wagon and Red2Black as well as the temporary home to her royal highness, the Lady Snark...Firebird!!! MOANers, you can run (which would give you more MOANing miles) but you can't hide from the snarkbite. It's everywhere!

NYC is also not too far from where I grew up on Long Island. I was raised in Syosset, NY, which also home to Natalie Portman, Idina Mentzel, and Judd Apatow. Oh, and my 10th grade English teacher was Balky Bartakamous' roommate at Yale (I will credit anyone who knows who that is with an extra 10 MOANing miles this week). Syosset is also the same town I escaped from every summer to attend sleepaway camp in Pennsylvania. It is in this tradition that I present you with NYC--Mad Libs Edition!

NYC was purchased (number) years ago by (noun) from the (noun). Early settlers in NYC lived in (noun) and worked tirelessly in (noun). These settlers were (adjective) and (adjective). Ellis Island and the (monument) are the beacon of hope for hundreds of thousands of immigrants. But NYC has come along way since then to become the (adjective) and financial capital of the world. It's difficult to become (emotion) in NYC. There's Broadway, Central Park, tons of restaurants and stores, and many, many (adjective) teams. In fact, this year the NY Giants beat the New England Patriots to win the Superbowl! NYC and the surrounding areas are home to many famous people including (person), (person) and (person), bands, and (adjective) landmarks. Hundreds of movies and TV shows have been filmed here such as (movie/TV show), (movie/TV show) and (movie/TV show). While there is a lot to say about NYC, nothing sums it up better than this...NYC is the (adjective) city in the world!

So, that's it for NYC. Put on your kevlar vest because Philly's next!

MOANing leg 3--New Haven, CT

2008-10-30T19:44:00.005-04:00

It didn't take us very long to finish this leg. We seemed to have MOANed in record speed this week, completing a total of 226 miles. In Boston we stocked up on all necessary supplies, including the requisite toothpaste, deodorant, and foot powder. We fed the oxen, bought some more bullets (important as our next stop is NYC followed by Philly), traded for some wagon wheels, and got some well deserved rest. We did some sightseeing, ate some baked beans (we also remembered to stock up on some air freshener), and watched some really good movies. And we picked up some MOANers we lost along the way....Muttleynfelix, Windspring, Cathysmom and we even picked up a new MOANer, KittyCow (she has apparently forgiven us for that whole Revolutionary War thing). I just hope Boston recovers now that we're gone.

Apparently all of the MOANing has gone to my head and I mistakenly said that our next stop was NYC. It is actually New Haven, CT, home to Yale University and the lovely Cathysmom. And lest you think New Haven is only famous for Yale, think again. New Haven has given us such delictable treats as lollipops and "New Haven style" pizza, as well as the Frisbee (invented at Yale), the Erector Set and the first public tree planning program. New Haven has also produced such fine talent as Lauren Ambrose (of Six Feet Under), Walter Camp (the Father of American Football--I'm sure millions of wives around the country are thrilled with him), Eli Whitney, Liz Phair, Michael Bolton ("Why should I change my name? He's the one that sucks"), America's sweetheart Benedict Arnold, and a man of pure genius, Paul Fusco, the creator of the legendary ALF. It's a shame that Yale, with it's Nobel laureates, presidents, and inventors, overshadows the rest of New Haven. I mean, it's not like it's Harvard.

Well ladies, it's been a month and we've made it from Ottawa to New Haven. Not too shabby for a bunch of stinky women with full time jobs and families. Let's see what we can do in November!!!

Random Thoughts by EOG

2008-10-27T21:22:00.004-04:00

This week, we take a look into the mind of our very own Elusions of Grandeur. So, without further ado, here is the first installment of Random Thoughts by EOG...

It seems that everyone wants to become something they aren't. And while this constant self bettering is typically a benefit to those who achieve something through their efforts, it can leave those of us who fail in steps one or two a little drained and perhaps less likely to make another attempt in the future. Considering how hard sticking with a new idea can be, especially when it's one little thing after another and then trying to keep track of how far you've come - I suggest that everyone take a chance at just jumping in the water. Forget about testing it with your toe and slowly wading in. Swing off the vine and do a cannonball into the lake. Pretend that you already ARE what you wish to achieve and see how long you can keep that up. Then try again tomorrow and see if you can be that person you want to be even longer and better than the day before. For me, it's being an early riser (which requires a LOT of pretending without coffee - on a side note one of my favorite phrases is "It's too early to be alive."). Who do you want to be?

So, there you have it folks. I hope you enjoyed it as much as I did.

MOANing Leg 2--Boston, MA

2008-10-22T19:52:00.007-04:00

Well, we made it to Boston! I didn't think we were going to pull it off, but we managed to do 230 miles this week. And since Port Henry is only 199 miles from Boston, we've got a head start on next week. This is an incredible feat since our group is starting to shrink. I think the bad breath and foot odor finally got the best of some MOANers and they bailed for more pleasant smelling companionship. Hopefully, they didn't get lost in the wilderness (a la Blair Witch Project) and will meet up with us in Boston.

I can't imagine why they wouldn't want to come to Boston, or Beantown (does anyone actually refer to Boston in this manner?). In case you're sitting, scratching your head and asking "why is Boston called Beantown?", here's the explanation: At one time, Boston's port was once filled with ships bringing in sugar and molasses from the West Indies. When some clever Bostonian got the idea of cooking beans and molasses together, a new culinary masterpiece was created - Boston Baked Beans, which quickly became a favorite dish of the locals.

So now that you know the origin of Beantown, here's some more information. Not only is it home to the lovely Honeylioness and native home to Red_Wagon, it's rich with history. Boston has produced some of the greatest moments in American history--the Boston Tea Party, Paul Revere's ride, the Red Sox historic 2004 World Series Win and on, January 15, 1919 a tank burst open in Boston's north end and flooded the streets (a two story high wall of molasses moved 25 mph and killed 21 in a slow, sticky fashion).

In addition to the number of historic moments, Boston and the surrounding areas are also credited with a number of the country's first: telephone demonstration, public park (Boston Common), lighthouse, regularly published newspaper (The Boston News-Letter), subway system, major university (Harvard), and the very first Dunkin Donuts. Oh, and the birth control pill was developed nearby at Clark University. (Thank G-d for these inventions. Without them, we'd be uninformed, cranky, bored, and pregnant. If I didn't love Boston before, I sure do now!)

The volume of artistic talent to come out of Boston and surrounding areas is incredibly high. Some of the most notable: Matt Damon, Dane Cook, Mark Wahlberg, Aerosmith, Denis Leary, Barbara Walters, Ralph Waldo Emerson, Henry David Thoreau, Jack Kerouac, Alexander Graham Bell, and Samuel Adams. Not to mention the Kennedys, Emily Dickinson, and Robert Frost. Tons of movies take place in Boston including: Legally Blonde, Mystic River, Good Will Hunting, the Departed, Fever Pitch and 21. Oh, and it's also home to John Krasinski, the man who brought the wonderful, amazing, Jim Halpert to life.

Let's grab some Boston Creme Pie, some Samuel Adams beer (or some cranberry juice for our nondrinkers), and curl up with a Boston Terrier. This leg isn't too long, but our next destination will be exhausting. We neeed to MOAN really hard in order to get to...New York City!!!

Hi, I'm in Delaware

2008-10-20T09:36:00.000-04:00

Currently, I call Delaware home. And it has recently occurred to me that most people know absolutely nothing about Delaware, except that it's the butt of many jokes and Joe Biden is one of our Senators. Admittedly, Delaware doesn't have much. It's even hard to find the place on a map (hint--it's next to Maryland). But there's more to Delaware than being the first state to ratify the Constitution (this is how we came up with our clever nickname "The First State"--the creative juices just flow in Delaware). And since it's more than likely our next Vice President will be from Delaware, I've decided it's time to highlight some of the noteworthy features of this "Small Wonder" (another one of our clever little tag lines). I promise to make this brief (actually, I have no choice. Remember, Delaware doesn't have much).

Delaware--a small state sandwiched between Maryland, Pennsylvania, and New Jersey. Comprised of 3 counties. Only one area code for the whole state. Not a large enough population to put letters on license plates. Can drive the entire state on one tank of gas. Primary employers are the banking/credit card industry (yup, many of your monthly payments are processed right here in Delaware), agriculture with an emphasis on chickens, and State government. No professional sports teams though the Wilmington Blue Rocks play here (they are the Class A affiliate of the Kansas City Royals. One of two mascots is Mr. Celery. He is scary). Best known for tax free shopping, many, many tax incentives for businesses (The Backstreet Boys are even incorportated here--how lucky are we?), the University of Delaware, some giagantic NASCAR race that virtually doubles the state's population for a weekend, our beaches and shopping outlets. Has been featured on "Surf and Rescue" (Dewey Beach), "Ghost Hunters" (Fort Delaware), and some show on the Food Network and/or Travel Channel involving good places to pig out (Cluck U). Current contestant on "The Amazing Race" is from Delaware.

Famous People
George Thoroghgood--known for such prophetic songs as "Bad to the Bone" and "I Drink Alone". Any chance one has to do with the other?
Teri Polo--best known as Ben Stiller's girlfriend in "Meet the Parents" and "Meet the Fockers". Should have just stuck with "Meet the Parents".
Rich Gannon--not origianlly from Delaware, but was the quarterback for the University of Delaware (Go Hens!!!) and played in the Superbowl with the Oakland Raiders (vs. Tampa Bay--Oakland lost 48-21).
Ryan Phillipe--seriously, he's from Delaware. Actor in movies such as "Stop, Loss", "Crash", and "Cruel Intentions".
Joe Flacco--current quarterback for the Baltimore Ravens. Don't know much about him and usually can't remember his name. Also, not a Delaware native but did play for the Hens.
Bill Roth--deceased Delaware Senator and creator of the Roth IRA.
The DuPont Family--made their fortune in gunpowder. Essentially own most of the state.
Valerie Bertinelli--star of "One Day at a Time". Former wife of Eddie Van Halen and current Jenny Craig spokesperson.

So, that's pretty much all you need to know about Delaware. It's small, it's flat, it has no sales tax. So, now when Delaware comes up in conversation at a party, you can contribute more than "Hi, I'm in Delaware." And this will make you very popular.

Will the Real Elmo Please Stand Up?

2008-10-17T12:55:00.014-04:00

Every household has its dreaded words. For some it's "Dinnertime". For others it's "Your mother is on the phone". In my house, it's two little words, uttered by our 2 year old on a daily basis. Those words, in all of their goose bump inducing, skin crawling glory are "Elmo watch".

Those words seem harmless on the surface. How awful can Elmo really be? After all, Elmo is a furry red monster who encourages children to learn, to ask questions, to explore their imagination, and to just be happy to be a kid. He sings, he draws, he has a pet goldfish named Dorothy. He's even nice to Oscar. Plus, he's got a whole line of products from toothbrushes to books to life size replicas of his furriness. If he were that awful, would the Henson Company really use Elmo as their flagship product?(It was a sad day for me when I realized kids recognize Elmo more than Kermit, but I am a Muppet purist. I digress.) Well, I'm here to tell you something the creators of Sesame Street will not...beneath his cheery, furry red exterior lurks a deep dark secret. Elmo is annoying.

And I'm not talking annoying like Rosie O'Donnell or Paris Hilton. I'm talking annoying like Roseanne's rendition of the Star Spangled Banner on replay--permanently. Annoying like a 24 hour channel of campaign ads. Annoying like a case of herpes that just won't go away.

But how can that be, you ask? He's just sooooo cute. No, he's not. Any parent of any child under the age of 5 will tell you that Elmo makes you want to impale your ears so can no longer hear. Elmo makes you want to live in poverty so you don't have to look at another Elmo book or buy another Elmo toy. Elmo makes you want to smash your TV so you can no longer feed into your child's insane and irrational addiction to the world's most annoying puppet.

So, without further ado, and in no particular order, here is my list of Elmo's Top 5 Annoying Traits:

1. His maniacal cackle that punctuates every sentence. Seriously, why is that necessary? He sounds like he's always hatching an evil plan (which I think he is--and I think it involves not only robbing me of my money, but my sanity as well).

2. His incessant need to ask a baby questions. For those of you who have been spared the horrors of "Elmo's World" (anyone who knows what I'm talking about now has the theme song stuck in his/her head. If I have to suffer, so do you), let me explain. Each version of Elmo's World has a theme (let's use horses to illustrate my point). Elmo will ask a baby "Baby, how do you act like a horse?" (Horse of course can be substituted with frog, ball, hair, whatever). The camera will then cut to a shot of a baby sitting there like a lump (as babies are good at), of course not answering the question, and then cut back to Elmo unleashing one of his horrifying giggles. It's just so pathetic to watch. You'd think Elmo would be a little more clever than to ask a baby questions.

3. His inability to pick a different tune for his song that concludes each edition of "Elmo's World". Seriously, does every song have to sound like Jingle Bells (again to illustrate, use the word horse and only the word horse and sing it to the tune of Jingle Bells)? Elmo has now ruined a Christmastime classic. Thanks, you furry piece of s*%#.

4. His voice. Good G-d, that voice. His voice alone makes me wish I had the ability to put my hearing on a dimmer switch.

5. His overwhelming need to refer to himself in the third person. Not only is it super arrogant but I can't imagine that it's teaching children proper English. So now, our kids will not only write papers that include texting abbreviations and smiley face icons instead of words, there's going to be a whole generation of kids referring to themselves in the third person. Super. So now I have to fear that our future leaders will attend Global Summits on the economy, famine, and AIDS and will communicate to each other like this: my daughter, "President Lynch said u r so right", to which the reply will be her British counterpart,"Prime Minister Smith says ." And all thanks to Elmo. Little bastard.

So there you have it. Elmo has been exposed for what he really is--an irritating, third-person speaking, ear-drum shattering fuzz bucket. I know that it's like finding out that there's no Santa or Easter Bunny, but the whistle had to be blown. For parents, and the public in general, our sanity must be saved from this putrid creature. And the next time you see a frazzled-looking, half-deaf, caffeine-consuming parent, have a little sympathy. She may have just, in a fit of rage, beheaded her child's Tickle Me Elmo and is desperately looking for another one. Because the only thing more annoying than Elmo is a whining child.

MOANing leg 1--Rest Stop #2

2008-10-14T20:32:00.000-04:00

We've now finished week 2 and have walked another 103.35 miles. Though some MOANers did catch up, we managed to lose a few along the way. I think they just had too much fun at SUNY Potsdam and were too hung over to join us this week (well, that's what I'm hoping...we did encounter a few coyotes and they looked pretty hungry). Luckily, we were able to buy a ton of deodorant so no one smells this week, but we are running dangerously low on toothpaste. This could be potentially damaging to morale as without toothpaste, conversation will be kept to a minimum and really, considering where our trail is taking us, talking is the only thing we have left. That, and MOANing Munch Mix. That stuff sure is tasty.

Ombud was our loudest MOANer this week, completing 26.3 miles on her own. Windspring also disturbed the neighbors with her 22 miles of MOANing. Firebird was our fastest MOANer, and the rest of us MOANed at a reasonable volume (and pace). I can't wait to see what happens next week!

So, the wagon's full of supplies, the oxen are healthy, no one's broken a limb or come down with dysentery, and everyone's still alive (I think...jury's still out on the coyote situation). Overall, this was a pretty great week. We were a haggard looking bunch when we rolled into Port Henry, NY. Fortunately, the entire town of 1062 was participating in in the local favorite sport of ice fishing, so no one really noticed our arrival, which is kind of hard to believe in a town that only takes up 1.5 square miles. In any case, it should be a great place to rest as long as we can avoid the 3 sex offenders who have taken up residence here.

Let's keep MOANing, ladies. We're halfway to Boston!

(By the way, has anyone seen any nickels? I've found a few and Elusions of Grandeur has seen a few, but I think nickels are hard to come by in upstate New York. I'll have to look harder this coming week.)

MOANing leg 1--Rest Stop

2008-10-08T20:56:00.000-04:00

Well, it's the end of week 1 and we've walked 94 miles. Many of the MOANers forgot to show up at the starting point, but I'm confident that they'll be able to catch up. The good news is that everyone made it out of Canada without getting stopped by the Mounties (Firebird, I'm very proud of you for that)and we all made it through immigration (including Beej67 who was somehow able to convince the agents that she was a US citizen using only her library card...I think she slipped them some Molson Ice and they were just drunk) and no one needs to stop for new shoes. The bad news is that we all smell. Really badly. Apparently, I forgot to put deodorant on our list of supplies. I will make sure to pick that up at the nearest CVS (does anyone have EVB we can use...the moose in Canada ate most of my cash and the rest was lost in our swim across the St. Lawrence River. Fortunately, the oxen, bullets, and food did not drown along with the cash). Particularly noteable in the smell arena is Calsfan who MOANed the hardest this week. She finished 33 miles all by herself (fortunately, I only MOANed 1.5 miles so I'm pretty far away from her stench. Not so lucky are Sapphire12 and Kath74, who MOANed 15 and 12 miles respectively). All of the other MOANers fell somewhere between my pathetic attempt to MOAN and Calsfan's insanely loud MOANing.

But there's more good news. We are now taking a mandatory rest stop in Brasher Iron Works, NY. And yes, it's as exciting as it sounds. With it's population of 2337, I'm sure one of the 930 households will let us use their shower. If not, we can hitch a ride over to Potsdam, NY. Fortunately, Potsdam is home to SUNY Potsdam so we can rest up and shower in the dorms and maybe find a good party to crash (and hopefully the party will be filled with many young, corruptable PBBs). And if that's not a broad enough stroke of good luck, the inventor of Jolt Cola just happens to be an alumni of SUNY Potsdam. Just the break we need before we start MOANing again in the morning.

So ladies, rest up, freshen up, and I hope you're not too hung over. We've still got a long way to go before Boston!

How Jim Halpert Ruined My Life

2008-10-06T19:42:00.000-04:00

While this is not technically MOANing related, it's something I had to get off of my chest. Jim Halpert ruined my life. There. I said it. Jim Halpert ruined my life.

You may be wondering how exactly did this happen. It's something I've thought long and hard about and the answer is simple...Jim Halpert made me believe that men can be funny, sweet, romantic, smart, sensitive, polite, well-dressed, financially independent, and cute all at once (and have a really nice butt.) I mean, I was doing just fine with my husband who, on any given day, is some combination of those traits. And I was fine with that. It was like living with a bag of Skittles...so many colors to choose from and every bag is different. And I was happy. Diversity is good. But now, I want a bag of all reds (red skittles are far and away the best, but that is another discussion). And Jim Halpert is the reddiest.

It wasn't that Jim Halpert just changed what I thought was an ideal man. He changed my expectations for the one in my life (the poor guy). My husband does try to be romantic. But nothing he does can compare with some of the things Jim Halpert has done. A new standard has been set and unfortunately for my husband, I just don't think it's a standard he'll ever be able to live up to. Jim Halpert is just that awesome. I suppose it's unfair of me to hold him to the same standards that the perfect man has set. Oh, well. No turning back now. And it certainly can't hurt to hope (besides, I have to give my husband something to aspire to. Can't let him think he's done trying just because we're married. And putting down the toilet seat is only thoughtful for so long.)

We always thought men like that couldn't exist and the cast of characters on TV certainly affirmed that. I mean, TV is supposed to be reflective of real life, isn't it? Movies kind of gave us a glimmer of hope, and books turned that glimmer into a shining star (thank you, Nicholas Sparks, creator of the Notebook), but TV left a void. But then came Jim Halpert and our faith was renewed. And to find that kind of man at work...well, that's just unheard of. If you're anything like me, the guys at work are usually a little too strange, a little too old, and a little too nothing like Jim Halpert. And all women deserve a Jim Halpert. Every woman deserves to be treated with the same sweetness and affection with which Jim treats Pam.

Yes, Jim Halpert does have his faults. He did break up with that girl on the booze cruise and um...well, I'm sure there's more but I choose not to acknowledge them. I choose to dwell on the fact that one perfect man exists, even if that existence is two dimensional. It gives me hope that maybe it can translate to three dimensional.

Lest you think I'm insane, I am aware that Jim Halpert is fake. And I love my husband on most days. But the fact that someone conjured this man up gives me hope not only for my husband, but for all of the other men out there. And all the women, too. I mean, it's about time we get an antidote to Al Bundy.

MOANing leg 1--We're Going to 88!

2008-09-30T20:24:00.000-04:00

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Well, ladies, it's time to pull out your Delorian, watch the clock tower and drive it to 88! MOANing has officially begun and it's time to MOAN loud, hard, and often. The first leg begins in Ottawa and will take approximately 400 miles. That's when we arrive in...Boston. Yes, Boston is our first MOANing stop and home to the Red Sox, the Bruins, New Kids on the Block, and Matt Damon. And the lovely honeylioness will be our tour guide as she calls Boston, or some small town nearby, home.

For this leg of the trail, Gldnlvly has provided us with a delicious snack, MOANing Moose Munch, or MMM. MMM will be a staple along the MOANing trail. It will arrive in different forms as we move along the trail. This version of MMM is made up of:

9 cups air popped popcorn or 3 regular bags of Natural flavored microwave popcorn
1 1/2 cups almonds
1 1/2 cups pecans
2 cups mini chocolate chips or M&Ms
2 cups dried cranberries or Craisins

Add all ingredients to a large bowl and toss. Store in an airtight container. Please do not eat the whole thing at once. While doggie poop bags are conveniently located along the way (since so many of us MOAN with our dogs), barf bags have been monopolized by the airlines and anyone forced to listen to Celine Dion.

I hope you've got your walking shoes, some water as loud MOANing has been known to cause dehydration, and your passports. Nobody's getting left behind. And just remember...where we're going, we don't need roads! Well, I guess technically, we do need roads because MOANing in space might be a tad difficult. Hmmm...MOANing in space...the new final frontier?

MOANing leg 1--interesting facts

2008-09-29T19:27:00.000-04:00

As we prepare to begin our marathon, it's probably good to know a few things about the city we're starting off in. That city would be lovely Ottawa, Canada. And now, courtesy of smartstart, I present the first installment of Interesting and Random Facts About Various Cities in North America...

Bienvenue!

For the first leg of our journey this group of Americans travel to Canada? Canada you say, eh?

Canada, America's hat, is a large land. Let's kick it off in the capital: Ottawa, home to the Ottawa Senators (hockey) and Rough Riders(football). Ottawa is also a breeding ground for major Hollywood talent, considering Dan Akroyd, Sarah Chalke, Tom Greene (I don't know that he's talent so much as irritating), Peter Jennings, Alex Trebek, Sandra Oh, Alanis Morisette, and Matthew Perry are all from Ottawa. Also our beloved kath74.

Ottawa receives 1,180,000,000 (1.18 billion) visitors a year who spend approximately $7,300,000 (7.3 million) on maple leaf soaps, moose ears and mountie hats all with money that has the Queen of England on it. What's that about, eh? I think we can do much better than $161.64 perperson, especially with coupons.

Let's start with a round of drinks! In honor of our friends to thenorth I give you the Road Kill Whiskey. Mix equal parts Irish Whiskey, Bourbon and White Rum, pour into a "funny shaped glass" and bottoms up! Don't be shy, belly up to the bar and order something that will tickle your gullet before we set off on our journey. Smile at that bartender and throw out an 'eh' because fifty percent of Ottawans speak English and will understand your order; thirty-two percent speak French (take that France!!!).

If you're tempted to stay you'll be in good company, the aforementioned kath74 lives in a city placed 18th in a survey of 200 cities worldwide for best quality of life (sorry Tehran, just missed the cut off). Must be all those snow angels. If you need a solid WIR reason consider it's the least expensive major city in North America.

Thanks, startsmart!

MOANing in Numbers

2008-09-28T21:13:00.000-04:00

23 cities, 7,702.3 miles, 51 weeks.Whew. That's a lot of MOANing. It's the distance from Fayettevile, NC over the North Pole to Shanghai, China. Maybe Santa will join us.

What's nice about MOANing in a group is that it makes numbers like that seem less daunting. 7,702.3 miles breaks down to 150 miles per week and 37.5 miles per day collectively, which is really only 1.5 miles per day, 4 days per week individually for the approximately 25 MOANers (this nuimber is subject to change). That seems doable. And the more people who MOAN, the sooner we get to our final destination...Las Vegas!

Yes, in a stroke of genius, I decided to have our marathon end in Las Vegas. We should arrive at our final destination around the same time as the mammoth WIR gathering being planned for this time next year. Though I'm not sure how mammoth we'll be from all this MOANing.

To help us keep MOANing, I've worked with our very own GLDNLVLY to create MOANing Moose Mix. This is a snack which will change based on our destinations. There will also be a feature where GLDNLVLY will give a tasty recipe to feed ourselves. Look for the very first one this week.

In order to track how much we MOAN in a week, please post your mileage at the bottom of the entry that details the route, along with the date you enter your mileage. If you engage in an activity that is physical but not measured in miles (aerobics, yoga, fighting crime...sex does not count), please use the conversion chart on this side bar to calculate your mileage. Updates will be done on Tuesdays as often as possible (Mondays are booked as long as Prison Break is on).

I think that takes care of all the formal MOANing business. New features will be added soon. I hope you enjoy them (if you don't, may a giant blister form on your toe!).

What's MOANing?

2008-09-24T20:51:00.001-04:00

MOAN stands for Moving Our Asses Now. It's basically a way for women to get motivated to just...move. We spend so much time taking care of everyone else that we forget to take time for ourselves. It's so easy to monitor our kids' (two and four legged variety) activity, our significant other's activity, our parents' activity, etc but when it comes to ourselves, we're very lax. There's always something else to do or, if you're like me, you lack the motivation to actually do it.

MOANing encourages me to get going because I don't want to let my fellow MOANers down for one, and two, it's a pretty cool way to measure the distance. 20 miles in a week means nothing but when you realize that's half the distance from Wilmington, DE to Philadelphia, PA, it actually puts 20 miles into perspective. We already know that women can do anything (well, almost anything...I'm not sure I want to be able to pee standing up). Why can't 20 of us walk across the country (I'm including Canada as part of the US for right now)? Plus, MOANing is really cheap and family friendly. You get to walk across the country, are home for dinner every night and still sleep in your own bed. Just a few more perks to MOANing. Now, if I could just get someone to cook that dinner every night...

Preparing to MOAN

2008-09-23T20:45:00.000-04:00

I know, it sounds dirty right? Well, that's the point. If it's not dirty, it's not fun! Truthfully, MOANing is an extension of an online community that I belong to. No, it's not a community of sex fiends or porn addicts; it's a community of women trying to erase their debt, improve themselves and create a better future. MOANing was inspired by many of the wonderful ladies on the no spend/controlled spend thread of the community message board (oh, that's just filthy--get your mind out of the gutter!); I decided that since we do such a wonderful job of supporting each other in paying off debt and controlling our spending, why couldn't we do the same for getting physically healthy? I mean, who doesn't love a hot woman in control of her money? And out of that, MOANing was born.

The concept of MOANing is simple. It's about getting off our butts and exercising. That's all. To make it fun, I've mapped a route that we walk, hitting cities that are closest to the ladies' homes. Along the way, we'll have little interesting facts about the city, inspirational quotes, funny movie lines...anything to keep us going. Some of us will also be searching for nickels. And one bird's life depends upon the success of this walk.

So what happens when we get to our destination? When we (eventually) arrive at our target city, we'll have a happy hour featuring local food and drink favorites and a movie. We will also buy supplies, rest, and barter with the locals. There is a mandatory rest period in each city so no one...well, let's not talk about what may happen. We'll evaluate our progress on a weekly basis and see how far we got and how much longer we need to go to reach our destination. It's a modern day Oregon Trail, except without the dysentery.

Official MOANing starts October 1 in Ottawa, Canada. It's going to be loud, it's going to be messy, and there may be some crying. So, woman up, and MOAN!